I am very lustful.
I have an incredibly high sex drive. Sir has a healthy sex drive, but it's not near as high as mine. Unfortunately, like most men would, I think he stresses about this. I wish he wouldn't.
Sure, I have a higher sex drive. So what!? I'm not going to be unfaithful or leave because of that. The sex we have is pretty satisfying. If I don't orgasm during intercourse he has no qualms about using an object to penetrate me until I climax too. He's really good about sharing the pleasure, even if under the sadistic guise that he doesn't care. I love it when he does that.
We found a funny way around my asking for sex all the time and him feeling down about not always being ready and my feelings of rejection. It's simple. I don't ask, I don't blatantly initiate, I don't get aggressive and molest him or anything. Without the pressure his sex drive is higher anyways. (All sorts of yay for me!) Plus sexual aggression coming from me doesn't really make me happy and I suspect it's a turn off for him - our sexual roles are so clearly defined, understood, and explored.
That's not to say I can't bend over in such a way, touch him in a loving and sensual manner, kneel next to him or become especially submissive in posture and speech. I can hint, I have to use any charms at my disposal to entice him and it's exciting. I'm no longer the aggressor, and that thrills me. I'm playing a fun game of seducing him, ultimately letting him choose if he's interested or not. It's a fun sort of dance and it's wonderful. It forces me to be creative and fun.
Best part of it all is that if he's not interested I still get a sexual thrill from it all. We've cuddled, rubbed, and snuggled; I've had my fun being silly and sexy. It's not any "not right now hun", he doesn't have to say a word, he just never takes me or touches me in an overtly sexual manner, he never initiates the sex. I never feel rejected playing this way, prior to this I would sometimes feel less desired. I either get sex or I laugh and be intimate with Sir which is great too.
I'm so surprised this worked. When Sir first brought up the idea I was so unsure. I figured I'd be laying about, dying of sexual need in silence. Far from it! Sir said I couldn't bluntly ask for it. He never said a word about playing, teasing, hinting to it. I have to work for it and it's rewarding for the both of us. Sex doesn't become as hum-drum as it might otherwise.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
A Less Dramatic Collar
I was officially collared on March 9th, 2008.
Sir and I talked about collaring on and off for six months. What did it mean to us and all that good stuff.
Unfortunately a lot of time was spent trying to find a durable, low-key, 24/7 collar. We found it by going to Vad Farkas of RingofSteel.net. I have an aluminum, magnetic closing collar by the way and couldn't be any happier with the results. Ok! Enough pimping!
Anyways. He ordered the collar, and on a weekend he was back in the States he collared me.
It was a quick affair. I was in a pretty dress, getting ready to go out for a nice dinner that night. Sir had to shower so he told me to kneel down on the floor and wait until he was done. I knelt down, waited, amusing myself with my stockings. I wish I could say it was more romantic or intense but what's a girl to do by herself, kneeling, waiting for her man to come back to her?
When he came back out he told me to sit up straight while he placed my collar on. He knelt in front of me and pressed his forehead to mine. He mumbled sweet things about being a good girl and reminded me that I was to only serve him. Afterward he got up, finished getting ready to go out, and I pranced off for dinner.
It was quick, pretty low key, but still very special. It took me a few days after the collaring to find what I needed to get out of my collar. Amusingly enough Sir gave me the answer a few weeks prior to the collaring, of course it didn't sink in though - aye me.
It's about commitment to him, not a certain level of submission.
I didn't promise to be his slave; I didn't promise to keep up a specific level of submission; I didn't give up this or that right. I am his submissive, no collaring would change that or make it permanent because I already promised that to him. It's the way I'm built, it's the way we function as a couple, it's what makes me happy. There is no uncertainty there, it's just a fact, a part of us.
So what was the collaring about if not submission? My promise and my dedication to Sir and our relationship. My promise to try my hardest to be the best I can for him regardless of the D/s intensity level at the moment - because that will change and evolve over time.
So my collaring didn't come with any specific regulations, any major changes, any tasks to prove myself. The metal ring around my neck is a symbol of my commitment to Sir and our relationship.
Sir and I talked about collaring on and off for six months. What did it mean to us and all that good stuff.
Unfortunately a lot of time was spent trying to find a durable, low-key, 24/7 collar. We found it by going to Vad Farkas of RingofSteel.net. I have an aluminum, magnetic closing collar by the way and couldn't be any happier with the results. Ok! Enough pimping!
Anyways. He ordered the collar, and on a weekend he was back in the States he collared me.
It was a quick affair. I was in a pretty dress, getting ready to go out for a nice dinner that night. Sir had to shower so he told me to kneel down on the floor and wait until he was done. I knelt down, waited, amusing myself with my stockings. I wish I could say it was more romantic or intense but what's a girl to do by herself, kneeling, waiting for her man to come back to her?
When he came back out he told me to sit up straight while he placed my collar on. He knelt in front of me and pressed his forehead to mine. He mumbled sweet things about being a good girl and reminded me that I was to only serve him. Afterward he got up, finished getting ready to go out, and I pranced off for dinner.
It was quick, pretty low key, but still very special. It took me a few days after the collaring to find what I needed to get out of my collar. Amusingly enough Sir gave me the answer a few weeks prior to the collaring, of course it didn't sink in though - aye me.
It's about commitment to him, not a certain level of submission.
I didn't promise to be his slave; I didn't promise to keep up a specific level of submission; I didn't give up this or that right. I am his submissive, no collaring would change that or make it permanent because I already promised that to him. It's the way I'm built, it's the way we function as a couple, it's what makes me happy. There is no uncertainty there, it's just a fact, a part of us.
So what was the collaring about if not submission? My promise and my dedication to Sir and our relationship. My promise to try my hardest to be the best I can for him regardless of the D/s intensity level at the moment - because that will change and evolve over time.
So my collaring didn't come with any specific regulations, any major changes, any tasks to prove myself. The metal ring around my neck is a symbol of my commitment to Sir and our relationship.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Who? What? Where? Huh? -- Introduction
Who am I?
I go by 'Mal' for anonymity's sake. I'm a twenty-year-old woman who has been exploring my submissive tendencies and sexuality for a year with a man I call Sir (more about him later).
I'm: a masochist; a sensation whore; a wanton slut for Sir; an exhibitionist; a monogamist; a happy housemaid and cook for Sir when I get the chance. I am a 'whole person' on my own, but my relationship with Sir enhances me and helps me to direct my energy in positive ways for our mutual happiness.
I'm also: smart; strong; a student who will never stop learning; aware of the world around me; a news junkie; a lover of all things Hello Kitty, cult-horror, and manga; an egalitarian feminist even though I take on traditional gender roles in my own life. I can act with grace and maturity, but when the time is right I can be as excitable as a little girl.
I am many different things and I certainly love myself for all of them. My desire to serve and make Sir's comfort and pleasure a priority in my life does not erase these different aspect of my personality.
Who is Sir?
Sir is a romantic, well educated, professional a few years my senior. He's also a nerd and news junkie. No one would suspect that this mild mannered man has a cooing and moaning woman tied up in his spare time.
He's very loving, very understanding, and posses more patience than I ever will. Although it's best not to be deceived by this, he has no problem reinforcing my place and punishing me when need be. He is most certainly a sadist, albeit a very sweet one until we're in bed or I've been disobedient.
How does this relationship work?
Sir and I met through Alt.com in February of 2007. We were looking for kinky play partners to explore our sexualities with. Both of us were out of relationships that were painfully vanilla and unsatisfying, so with nothing else to lose, why not try the internet? We talked for three weeks via email and IM, went on our first date and talked for 4 hours. After that we saw each other every weekend, meeting in hotels (but never having sex oddly enough).
Soon it moved to staying at his place all weekend, having sex after dating for a month and a half, and becoming a couple. While things have always been 'intense' and passionate we've moved slowly and carefully. We had rough/kinky sex and slowly moved into D/s outside the bedroom.
Sir is in charge... always. We function as dominant/submissive 24/7, although most of the time it's very subtle. This makes both of us very happy and I never feel 'oppressed' or what have you. We also practice domestic discipline (DD) as a way of dealing with unwanted behavior on my end. We practice behavior modification to enhance my personality and make our relationship more harmonious.
What is this blog for?
This is a place for me to post essays on D/s, BDSM, domestic discipline as I know it, and hopefully give a more day-to-day feel. This isn't going to be a very personal journal as I already have one devoted to kinky thing over at Livejournal.
I hope you enjoy reading!
I go by 'Mal' for anonymity's sake. I'm a twenty-year-old woman who has been exploring my submissive tendencies and sexuality for a year with a man I call Sir (more about him later).
I'm: a masochist; a sensation whore; a wanton slut for Sir; an exhibitionist; a monogamist; a happy housemaid and cook for Sir when I get the chance. I am a 'whole person' on my own, but my relationship with Sir enhances me and helps me to direct my energy in positive ways for our mutual happiness.
I'm also: smart; strong; a student who will never stop learning; aware of the world around me; a news junkie; a lover of all things Hello Kitty, cult-horror, and manga; an egalitarian feminist even though I take on traditional gender roles in my own life. I can act with grace and maturity, but when the time is right I can be as excitable as a little girl.
I am many different things and I certainly love myself for all of them. My desire to serve and make Sir's comfort and pleasure a priority in my life does not erase these different aspect of my personality.
Who is Sir?
Sir is a romantic, well educated, professional a few years my senior. He's also a nerd and news junkie. No one would suspect that this mild mannered man has a cooing and moaning woman tied up in his spare time.
He's very loving, very understanding, and posses more patience than I ever will. Although it's best not to be deceived by this, he has no problem reinforcing my place and punishing me when need be. He is most certainly a sadist, albeit a very sweet one until we're in bed or I've been disobedient.
How does this relationship work?
Sir and I met through Alt.com in February of 2007. We were looking for kinky play partners to explore our sexualities with. Both of us were out of relationships that were painfully vanilla and unsatisfying, so with nothing else to lose, why not try the internet? We talked for three weeks via email and IM, went on our first date and talked for 4 hours. After that we saw each other every weekend, meeting in hotels (but never having sex oddly enough).
Soon it moved to staying at his place all weekend, having sex after dating for a month and a half, and becoming a couple. While things have always been 'intense' and passionate we've moved slowly and carefully. We had rough/kinky sex and slowly moved into D/s outside the bedroom.
Sir is in charge... always. We function as dominant/submissive 24/7, although most of the time it's very subtle. This makes both of us very happy and I never feel 'oppressed' or what have you. We also practice domestic discipline (DD) as a way of dealing with unwanted behavior on my end. We practice behavior modification to enhance my personality and make our relationship more harmonious.
What is this blog for?
This is a place for me to post essays on D/s, BDSM, domestic discipline as I know it, and hopefully give a more day-to-day feel. This isn't going to be a very personal journal as I already have one devoted to kinky thing over at Livejournal.
I hope you enjoy reading!
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