Ravishment

Ravishment / rape-play/ consensual non-consent. It's not everyone's kink.

I don't mean for this post to trigger anything with anyone who has had the misfortune of experiencing sexual assault. As a woman who loves this type of play I'm going to discuss it a bit.

Do I want actual rape? Good lord no! But it's a fantasy, a sick fantasy that plays into my 'fighting submissive' tendencies. It's safe to play out the fantasy with someone I trust and love as much as Sir.

Safety is a huge part of this. I feel safe with Sir. I know I can stop everything in a second by safe-wording; I'll get cuddled and we'll talk through my feelings or I'll get space as I need it. I know Sir isn't about to hurt me, there isn't any anger focused at me, we're playing roles.

What do I find attractive about ravishment? I like the amount of physical force used, the particular brand of dirty talk that comes with it, the moments I feel so desperately weak are very cathartic for me. The fantasy also taps into an interesting ego trip - I'm that attractive and desirable that Sir has to demand my attention right at that moment. No matter how I 'feel' or how much I 'protest' and 'fight' that he is willing to overpower me and have me.

Is he actually raping me? Far from it, it's just fun to act every now and again. 'Submissive' is a real part of my personality, 'rape victim' is a role (acting!) I choose to take on every now and again for our mutual enjoyment. I know the idea of taking on 'rape victim' as a role for enjoyment seems pretty disturbing. An interesting comparison would be dressing up as a serial killer for Halloween and hitting your friends with the fake plastic knife you got with your costume. Does the costume, dark jokes, and moments of pretend make you a legendary fictional serial killer? Hardly. It's fun to play a disturbing role sometimes, even if you find the real-life act to be completely detestable.

Ravishment is where sexual objectification, violence, humiliation and degradation all come to a peak for me and I enjoy it. There is also a relief for me if I eventually start to 'give in' to his attentions. (Do you have any idea how hard it is not to enthusiastically thrust back while having sex in a scene like this?!) If I do 'give in' and 'begin' to enjoy it, it feels like this amazing rush of pure animalistic lust because I've just fully given in the sensation regardless of context. It's like plunging into cold water it's such a rush.

Sir is always very tender with me afterward, making sure I'm ok, that I liked it. A lot of cuddling and generally being cute ensures.

The Dom/me is doing the scene for mutual enjoyment by playing the selfish bastard role. I'm impressed by Dom/mes who engage in ravishment. I can't imagine the courage that must take not be paralyzed by concern not to harm, to somehow make it work.

After the first time Sir and I played with this fantasy I felt so loved and safe that he was willing to do this with me. He trusted me enough to know my own boundaries (and that I'd enforce them) just as much as I trusted him not to really hurt me. It was a great experience.

A lot of people take issue with ravishment, even within the bdsm community. It's dangerous? A bit, but a lot of activities we take part in are dangerous. Bondage/beatings gone wrong anyone? You're just that much more careful about making it work and that everyone is safe and enjoys themselves.